Why Nobody Cares About Your Band Bio

horrified

If I read another band bio that includes a long list of people who wandered in and out of the band I’m going to O.D. on chocolate. Seriously. Do it. I love chocolate.

This is NOT the kind of bio that anybody wants to read or that generates interest:

The Killer Marshmallow was born from the fire at Boy Scout camp in 1999. Kenny L and Bobby G found they both liked music and when they got back home, decided to form a band. Kenny’s mom gave him a guitar for Christmas that year and Bobby received a set of drums from his uncle. They then invited Warren K into the band to lay down the bass. They then played the Apple Blossom festival two years later in their hometown where Warren met his soon to be girl friend, Mary.   The next year Warren left the band to get a full time job and prepare for fatherhood. Mark S joined the band in his place as a killer bassist. Then Bobby moved to Detroit so Kenny found a friend at work who could play guitar and now the Killer Marshmallow is ready to take over the world with our unique sound and awesome tunage. You should check us out. Just Google our name.

I would laugh except I’ve read this kind of thing over and over and over and over and over….

I had begun this post months ago, but set it aside because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Last week changed my mind. Last week was a banner week of really BAD “bios” and it prompted me to return and flesh out what I had first written which was: NO ONE CARES HOW OLD YOU WERE WHEN YOU LEARNED TO PLAY GUITAR.

Boring

Please stop taking the term BIO so seriously. People don’t actually want to know when your mother weaned you from the breast and turned you on to Kool Aid.

Your band bio is an OPPORTUNITY. Use it wisely to give a good feel for the band, the music you play, your place in the music community. Create a mood. Capture the essence of who you are in word. Remember to keep it short. I don’t even read the entire bio of major label bands. They’re too long and I’m busy. So is everyone else. Keep that in mind – you are taking time from your readers life – use it wisely and make it count.

What are the elements of a good band bio?

  1. Tell a good story. Make it short and concise but give your audience a way to feel connected with you.
  2. What’s new now. Got a huge tour coming up or something that just shifted the bands direction? Say it. Keep it short and sweet, but say it.
  3. An interesting back story, written like a tale will grab reader attention. But again, keep it short and concise. It isn’t so much that you want your reader to understand EXACTLY how the band formed as it is you want to give a flavor for the band personality and evolution.
  4. Comments from the press are good – just don’t list 7 of them. Three is a good number.
  5. End with a killer last line. Make it memorable. Brand your band name on your readers brain.

castle

I have come to the conclusion that a good band bio is one thing bands should consider paying a professional to produce. Get everyone in the band to give up fast food for a month and come up with $150 – $300 to go pro. Your bio is the heart of your public image. Don’t stroke out.

The goal is to make your reader feel they know you. Develop a love affair between fans and your band by drawing them in. The more you can create that puppy love feeling between you and your fans, the faster you will grow, the more your events will be attended and the healthier your bank account will be.